NEVER LOSE YOURSELF

A man was planning to make his side chick his second wife. Knowing that his wife would resist to the last drop of her blood, he decided to bring her in as their new domestics staff. When his wife discovered and couldn't bear it; she took her own life.

Another couple had been married for 6years and had 2children together. It seemed they enjoyed bliss all through until something tragic happened. One day, the husband discovered he was not the biological father of the 2 children. The wife had the children for 2different men right under his roof. When he couldn't handle it anymore, he killed the wife and the children and himself.

Ganiyu was an upcoming fish farmer. With the encouragement he got from the profit of his previous year's harvest sales, he decided to do it bigger the next year so he took bank loan to expand his fish farming business. Having invested so much in the business with bountiful harvest in sight in less than a month to come, there came a heavy downpour that flooded his fish farms resulting to total loss of all his investments. The occurence was unbearable for Ganiyu and he decided to end it all by taking poison.

Susan was unable to secure university admissions for 5 consecutive years. She braced herself up to give it another shot but unfortunately, she was denied admission the 6th time. As a result, she became hostile to everyone including herself and lived a reckless life without getting back on track until she lost her life to drug overdose.

Folake, (just as her name implies); used all of her heart, resources and life to love and care for her fiance. Even when he lost his job and couldn't secure another job for a year, she went to borrow money from friends, family and foes in addition to her personal savings to enable him relocate to another country in search of greener pastures. Both agreed she will join him after one or two years. On getting abroad, the guy gradually reduced his communication with her until he became unreachable for her. Folake felt used, defrauded, jilted and concluded in her heart that all men are scum. That was how she went on a revenge/vengeance spree on innocent men that came her way for a relationship over what only one man did to her and she lost countless angels in men. 

In a bid to become king, Uche lost it by offering bribes, employing violence and killing his major opponent. Though he went uninvestigated and unarrested for his crime because no traces was left and became king but, he lived as a lost soul within himself. 

This issues of losing one's sanity, doing the needless to achieve good things, going haywire and/or committing suicide over relationships or any problem isn't pure 'rara'. 

Every thought and temptation to consider losing your mind, hurting or killing yourself (or someone else) in response to negative realities is a demonic manipulation of the mind to see oneself as worthless and unneeded anymore alive.

Nobody's unfaithfulness and unfairness is worth losing your peace and life over. Loss of anything/anyone isn't strong enough for you to be robbed of soundmind. Without soundmind, there is no soundman.

To lose oneself is not only by death. Once you let negative realities get into you and make common sense evaporated from your brain; you begin to do shit. Though you are alive yet, you have lost yourself within yourself. Just like Folake in the  narration above who didn't kill herself or anyone but developed wrong mindset towards all men and began to exhibit wrong attitudes. 

Avoid anything that can rob you of your confidence, self-esteem and faith that you will finally succeed unlike Susan who gave up and became a shadow of herself due to her inability to secure university admission after series of attempt.

Be visionary and never let go of your valid visions. To lose sight of your essence/purpose, uniqueness and possible best is a collosal loss. 

There is more to life than relationships and marriage.

There is more to life than properties and possessions.

There is more to life than money and opportunities.

There is more to life than positions and power.

There is more to life than status and class.

There is more to life than popularity and fame.

The loss of admissions, jobs, money, contracts, opportunities, properties, possessions, businesses, promotions, positions, power, connections, relationships, people and time shouldn't lure you into losing yourself.

No matter what is lost, if you are not lost, everything is not lost. You lose everything by losing yourself. To lose oneself over any loss (or lack or disappointment) is an unaffordable and unrecoverable loss. 

Always be the one doing things not the one things are doing. Let nothing shock you and bounce you off guard. Irrespective of the struggles on your path and what people did or didn't do to/with/for you; you can always win and still live a super amazing life through it all if you don't lose grip of your right mind. 

Be wise! Never punish or kill yourself for the wrong you suffered in the hand of another person or the things you failed to achieve. Whoever offended you did bad; hurting yourself (or another person) afterwards makes you your greatest offender. Heal from your loss, don't kill nor continue to bleed for your loss.

(Disclaimers: The stories in this piece are imaginery scenereos explaining some real life events).

©16/11/2022

_Stephen Olamilekan Jimoh

Advance Everyday

...living life at best

#love #disappointment #yourself #marriage #admission #opportunities

MAY BE NIGERIAN LEADERS ARE NOT NIGERIANS

Yes! You read that title correctly. Many negative realities in Nigeria often makes me wonder if all Nigerian leaders are truly Nigerians considering their handling of national affairs. They are crafty at protecting their own interest and welfares. Once the happenings don't affect them negatively, they don't give a damn. 

Isn't prolonged ASSU strike, (incessant terrorism, prevalent kidnapping, poor healthcare, outrageous unemployment rate, inadequate and unevenly distributed infrastructures, poor manpower development, theft/burglary/robbery, incessant borrowing, misappropriation/mismanagement of public funds and alarming rate at which Nigerians are running out of Nigeria for their sanity, safety, security and prosperity in recent times just to mention a few) enough to conclude that handlers of this country don't mean well?

Aren't Nigerian leaders and stakeholders perturbed at the rate of 'outflock' of highly productive Nigerians to other nations considered better than Nigeria in terms of quality education, standard healthcare, peace, safety, security, infrastructural amenities, advanced technology/science, career success, economic/financial prosperity, political stability and leadership excellence? Nigerians are running away from their fatherland and the rulers/leaders of Nigeria are still cool, calm and comfortable as though everything is fine.

Can you imagine what some stakeholders/leaders turned Nigeria to! A place where the sons and daughters of the land don't want to stay anymore because of artificial hardship, insecurity, leadership failure and uncertainties. Even as a parent, you won't want your children to derive pleasure in going to other people's houses while they hate being in your own houses. Only a vagabond parent will do nothing to change the narrative and make his/her home precious to his/her children so much they will always feel at home.

How can young, strong, promising, professional and most enterprising/productive Nigerians detest living in Nigeria and be trooping out in millions to foreign nations in search of greener pastures under your watch as a leader at all levels and you don't see the need to change the narrative to do all it takes to ensure Nigerians are comfortable and satisfied in Nigeria than elsewhere around the world?

Population growth has a positive way of affecting economic growth of a society. The more people exit the shores of Nigeria, the more our national economy nosedive. There is no way we will have enough professionals in every field at the rate numerous experts in their fields are relocating from Nigeria to other countries because of in-house self inflicted woes in Nigeria by Nigerians especially, the leaders.

There is a saying in my Yoruba language that: "agba kii wa loja ki ori omo tuntun wo". Meaning: in as much there are elders in the market square, a new born baby's head cannot bend on his/her neck. Some things aren't supposed to happen wherever there are elders. Come to think of it, it seemed this is not applicable to vast majority of Nigerian leaders/elders/stakeholders. Series of events have proved that most leaders of our country are worse than the worst of colonial masters in the history of human existence.

The dream, pursuit and commitment of every well meaning leader anywhere is to ensure that everyone under his/her watch is safe, secured, productive, successful and prosperous but I doubt if all our leaders shared that noble mindset. It won't be wrong to say most of them are "arije nidi ibaje" (i.e. they feed fat on malpractices). Infact, how those in question sleep and wake up comfortably is incomprehensible.

Nigerian nurses, doctors, pharmacists, artists/entertainers, accountants, engineers, IT professionals, teachers/lecturals, technicians, articians, clergies, celebrities, students and the rest relocated to other nations in throngs and we still think this country is very fine. 

Have we ever imagined why Americans, Arabians, Europeans and others aren't trooping to Nigeria on daily basis? It is impossible for that to happen now because the best life possible and achievable in their places aren't in Nigeria. 

We cannot attract foreigners to relocate to Nigeria like the way Nigerians are attracted to their countries because we aren't doing what we are supposed to do to make Nigeria exactly like or better than their countries. Since Nigerians aren't comfortable living in Nigeria, foreigners cannot be inspired and motivated to relocate to Nigeria. 

In a saner clime, relocation to other nations in search of greener pastures is never an option for consideration because nothing is chasing them out of their own countries. For citizens of those prosperous nations, to travel out is never a prayer point or a call for celebration eventually they have to travel out since their countries have no match in the company of nations. What a shame that the contrary is the case in Nigeria as traveling out has become a luxury and breakthrough. The only prayer point of some Nigerians living in Nigeria is to get their visa approved for them to "japa".

Wisdom demands that: "ibi ti eyan ti n ri nkan je, eyan gbodo ma tun ibe se ni" (i.e. you should ensure the prosperity of wherever you are benefiting from). Since Nigerians leaders are feeding fat on Nigeria and Nigerians, they should ensure their contributions to Nigeria is commensurate to what they are getting from Nigeria and Nigerians. Sugbon ti won ba ko ti won o se atunde, oju won to ma ja nigbati gbogbo ilu ba tun mo won lori tan (i.e. their eyes will soon be clear when there is no one left for them to govern anymore if they refused to timely make amends). 

These people have travelled round the world, seen how well things are done and enjoyed the best of advanced nations yet, they didn't replicate the same in Nigeria. They preferred to always go for vacation, medical care, acquisition of properties, businesses, investments and send their wards to school in those nations at the expense of Nigeria and Nigerians. Their attitude is: "igi da, eye fo lo". They don't care whatever happens to Nigeria and should the worst befall Nigeria, they've already mapped out their escape for them not to be consumed. 

©07/10/2022

_Stephen Olamilekan Jimoh

Advance Everyday

...living life at best

TO TAKE IT, DO WHAT IT TAKES

Could it be that you are yet to have enough of good things you needed simply because you don't do enough of what you should do to have them? To have more than enough, do more than enough of what you should do. You don't achieve so much by doing so little. How can you be a full time success by being a part-time pursuant of success? Your strive to succeed should be on and on not on and off. 

Truly, we have grace, favour and mercy but those alone aren't enough without you actively doing the needful. Diverse testimonies of divine breakthroughs are everywhere but there is no consistently successful and highly prosperous person whose track record is traceable and unquestionable that is not up and doing in his/her crafts, jobs, businesses, professions or careers. The provision for divine assistance/intervention and miracles is not a provision for slothfulness, irresponsibility and mediocrity.

It is very possible to suddenly have a big hit or major breakthrough on a silver platter or platter of gold (with little or no significant input of yours) which is grace at work but; it is impossible to sustain, maintain, multiply and reproduce it without your active participation and expertise. Success that happened without competence, disappears afterwards. That is how notable opportunities and possibilities slipped out of some people's grip. Some folks met angels in human forms without doing anything spectacular to be attracted to them but their bad attitudes chased those good people away over time. 

Preparedness/readiness is a very powerful activation force for possibilities to take place and be retained. Refusal to build capacity ahead of expected opportunities and future responsibilities makes failure inevitable. Lack of capacity brings calamity (emptiness, poverty).

Before you cry foul and blame everyone else for being unemployed/jobless; are you employable? Are you highly skillful? Do you have solutions to people's problems? Are you a team player? How innovative, creative, resourceful, useful and productive are you? Your usefulness to people/organizations/nations determines your engagements by them. "If you don't want to be replaceable, you have to be extraordinary" _ @Kevinolearytv. Step up your game and improve your selling point. Be indispensable! 

©05/10/2022

_Stephen Olamilekan Jimoh

Advance Everyday

...living life at best

MA SE GBE OMO OBA FUN OSUN

(GIVE NO MAN'S CHILD TO ANOTHER MAN)

In the wake of a case featured on "The Jeremy Kyle Show" involving 2 Nigerians by the name Oscar and Valentine. For 32 years, Oscar had thought Valentine is his biological son until when Valentine's mother dropped the bombshell during a phone conversation with Valentine that Oscar is not his father as related by Valentine. He (Valentine) also added that his mother was crying profusely while making the confession.

In a bid to ascertain the truth, both of them (Oscar and Valentine who had enjoyed a father and son relationship ever since Valentine was born and taken to USA by Oscar) decided to appear on the show for a DNA test which proved that they are not biologically father and son. 

While watching the video, I could not imagine the despair of Oscar at knowing that Valentine is not his son though the 2 assured the audience that the DNA result would not affect their father and son relationship but, one cannot deny the fact that such case could be so damaging. 

As a result, below are some of many questions that came to my mind after watching the video.

1. Why would the woman in question conceived for another man under another man's roof? 

2. Why would she concealed the matter for that long?

3. What prompted her confession?

4. Is she aware of the possible negative impact of her confession on Oscar? Or she is not aware that Oscar could be rendered heartbroken for life?

5. How was she able to suppress her conscience for that long? 'Chai, she get liver o'!

6. What is in it for her in the first place? 

7. Why can't she keep the secret forever considering it's possible damaging impact on Oscar?

8. Or she intended to punish Oscar by saying the truth?

9. Or may be she was tired of her insincerity and wanted to set herself free by saying the truth? 

10. Or she too didn't know that it wasn't Oscar that impregnated her? If yes, when did she discovered? 

However, I suppose truth is meant to set both the speaker and the recipient free. It is not to set the speaker free and put the recipient in bondage.

Thank God Oscar, though heartbroken but it seemed he was able to handle it at that moment of discovery with an impression that he would soon get over it as shown by his response and expressions after the whole thing. 

On the other hand, there was another case of a man who couldn't bear it at all when he discovered he was not the father of a 4 year old boy his wife had in his house as a result, he slaughtered both his wife and the boy and eloped.

This is just few of numerous similar cases involving a woman giving her pregnancy to another unsuspecting man as the rightful owner of the pregnancy for whatever reason best known to her. 

In all of this issues and sharp practices, the major questions are: 

a. why do women commit such crime by giving another man's child(ren) to someone else who is not responsible for the pregnancy?

b. how can we bring an end to such bad deeds? 

c. how can the victim(s) in all of these cases be assisted to maintain their sanity and not result to violence/crimes against their offenders?

d. how can a man prevent such from happening to him?

Your relevant contributions to this article are welcome!

©17/07/2022.

_Stephen Olamilekan Jimoh

Advance Everyday

...living life at best

THIS IS 21ST CENTURY

21st Century is far from stone age. It is modern times. A highly civilized and enlightened dispensation. A time that offers so much insight, truth, clarity, direction, education, revelation, ease, fairness, correction, inspiration, discoveries, creativities, opportunities, possibilities, excellence, progress and advancement than ever before since creation. 

If you are still clueless or ignorant about how life and living should be in this dispensation, you are the one at fault. You chose to live in the dark in the midst of great light having refused to gain required insight. The right information about everything is vastly available, accessible and affordable everywhere at this time. Whatever you don't know that is worth knowing to live life at best as a human being is right at your finger tips once you are ready. 

Save yourself from living with stone age mentality in this 21st century. 'Eyes aren't on the knee caps anymore'. Evaluate your thought patterns. Weigh your orientation, dissect and fine-tune it. Pay close attention to what and who informs your perceptions, ideologies, principles, values, actions, practices, habits, lifestyles and attitude towards your fellow human beings. 

It is no longer what you are told is right or wrong or who told you something is good or bad. It is all about what is truly right and wrong which you should be deliberate to find out. You can and you should know the truth by yourself, for yourself and for generations to come.

Never take in every information thoughtlessly lest you are misled. To swallow everything hook, line and sinker is destructive. Take time out to ask relevant questions and get right answers. Analyze, compare, contrast and connect the dots to make valid inferences. That is how to empower your sense of good judgement. 

It is not everything written or spoken or done/promoted by every scholar or leader or celebrity that is right, beneficial, noble and worth doing. There are loads of written, spoken, widely practiced and highly promoted destructive misconceptions, misinterpretations, misexplanations, misinformations, misexpressions, misapplications, misappropriations and misrepresentations.

Live in the reality of 21st century. Be a thoroughly refined, renewed and redeemed version of human being. Make a difference, your breed is different. Alter every negative narrative by knowing the truth. When you know the truth, you will not only set yourself free; the whole world will be set free from all evils. People are still doing various evils due to their ignorance of the truth or rejection of the truth. 

This 21st century is the game changer century. It is meant to be an Evil Free Century by all standards. A 21st century person anywhere across the world ought to know better and do better. People should have outgrown unwholesome believe systems, customs, traditions and practices. Robbery, terrorism, dirtiness, corruption, bad leadership, maltreatment, discrimination and killing of people for ritual purposes, financial gain or gender supremacy, racial/tribal/ethnicity supremacy, political supremacy, business/economic supremacy and religion supremacy ought to have passed away with the past centuries. Whoever still indulges in such is not 21st century compliance.

"The 21st (twenty-first) century is the current century in the Anno Domini era or Common Era, under the Gregorian calendar. It began on January 1, 2001 (MMI) and will end on December 31, 2100 (MMC).[1]" _Wikipedia. 

©14/05/2022.

_Stephen Olamilekan Jimoh

Advance Everyday

...living life at best

RESIST THE FOE

Empower nothing and nobody against you. Do not fight for what and who don't worth fighting for. Things and people that ought not to be in your life should not win your heart. 

Timely detect if a person is truly for you or not lest you commit your resources, time and life to wrong hands. Somebody can be with you and still be against you. Connect the dots by paying close attention to their attitudes and how they treat you. 

Anybody that terrorizes you, don't have your best interests at heart. Whatever and whoever works against you should be resisted to the hilt not assisted to hit their evil target in your life. 

Be mindful of what you do, how you do it and who you do it with, to and for. Who you build friendship, business, relationship and family with really matters. 

Never do the right thing with wrong people. Marriage in itself is right by all standards but having a wrong spouse puts you in harm's way. Likewise, having a wrong business partner is jeopardy.

No matter how good, (peaceful, patient, nice, kind, loving, caring, loyal, faithful, just, forgiving and tolerant) you are; there are people you cannot and should not yield yourself to to do life together. They will wear you out of your virtues and make you appears like the bad one. Some things and some folks should not be kept, endured and tolerated.

©06/04/2022.

_Stephen Olamilekan Jimoh

Advance Everyday

...living life at best

YOU ARE NOT WRONG FOR DOING RIGHT

 

Doing the right thing in every situation is always the right thing whether it is requested, expected, accepted, appreciated, commended, publicized, celebrated and rewarded or not. 

Never allow possible rejection of right deeds hinder you from always doing what is right. Your commitment to doing right should exceed what you get in return.

Even when your well doings don't earn well deserved appreciation in return, don't be discouraged. The revenge for not being celebrated and rewarded for having done well is to do more. 

Negative responses/reactions of others to your right deeds do not make you wrong for doing what is right. Likewise, acceptance, celebration and rewarding of your wrong deeds don't make you right for doing wrong.

Do not be ashamed incase you are shamed for uprightness, trustworthiness, faithfulness, decency, modesty, diligence, excellence, nobility and patriotism. Such virtues are not shameful, it is the opposite that is shameful.

Take note of this truth: To return lost items (especially valuable ones) found by you to the rightful owner(s) or appropriate authorities is not foolishness (with or without reward) as some thought in some places. It is doing otherwise that is gross foolishness not smartness.

©14/03/2022.

_Stephen Olamilekan Jimoh

Advance Everyday

...living life at best

CONNECT AND STAY CONNECTED

The account of 38years old Joyce Vincent who died of an asthma attack or complication from peptic ulcer in her north London flat in December 2003 with her television left on and her bills getting auto deducted from her bank account for several months before her death was discovered in January 2006 is one disheartening story out of many similar cases of prolonged solitary lifestyles and total disconnection with the rest of humanity. 

For that duration of time, it is very obvious that nobody checked on her probably she completely shut herself out of the reach of everybody - relatives, friends, admirers, co-workers and neighbours. Though what actually caused her disconnection is still unknown but no matter what, it shouldn't be that bad to the extent that she died unnoticed to everyone (including her immediate neighbours) for more than 24months.

After reading her story for the first time on Facebook Wall of Susan Olofu, I proceeded to read more about her on Wikipedia and other sources on internet. In all, everything about her life and demise further established the fact that person-to-person contact and communication should not be downplayed (or ruled out).

Therefore, irrespective of your challenges or hurts from past relationships, bitter experiences and maltreatment from anyone; refrain from total isolation of yourself in a bid to be shielded from possible human cruelty. Because some people have proven unworthy to pitch your tent with is not enough to give up on all others. The misdeeds of only a person or some persons shouldn't make you disconnect with everyone else. 

Deliberately initiate, build and maintain healthy relationships with your relatives (both immediate and extended), neighbours, schoolmates, students/trainees, teachers/trainers, faith members, co-workers, superiors/colleagues/subordinates, clients, group/union/association members etc. Never lose touch with everybody. Everybody is not difficult, wicked, insensitive, unreasonable, unreachable and inaccessible. 

Be valuable, understandable and accessible for right people and maintain good contact with them in order to watch over one another. We are made to coexist not 'soloexist' for association not isolation. To rightly connect, communicate, cooperate, congregate, comfort, collaborate, compliment, cheer, celebrate and complete one another. 

At least, let there be someone checking on you that you always check on too. If you live without anyone knowing that you are living, you may be dieing without anyone knowing that you are dieing and you may die without anyone noticing that you are dead. Never leave this world without anyone knowing that you have left.

Although, you were created and birthed alone but you are not supposed to do life all alone. It is a great deservice to shut yourself out of the reach of others and to shut others out of your own reach. Healthy relationships and good contacts with well-meaning people have a way of promoting happiness, shared opportunities, good health, peace, ease, sanity, resourcefulness, safety, security, prosperity and long life. Get in touch and stay in touch with the right people.

©20/03/2022.

_Stephen Olamilekan Jimoh

Advance Everyday

...living life at best